Wednesday, September 19, 2012

My Weight Loss Journey: Celebrating a Victory

With weight loss comes the excitement of buying new clothes in a smaller size. I have been reluctant to buy new clothes because I think that my old clothes really aren't that big. Boy am I wrong. I took the day off of work today and went shopping. I went to one store and had only a little bit of time to shop before meeting up with D for lunch.

I used to love to shop. I used to shop til I couldn't bear the pain in my feet any longer. When I gained weight I didn't want to shop anymore. It was so hard to find anything that I liked on my body. It was so hard to accept myself in the mirror. I hated how I felt about myself. I hated that I let myself go. So I just wouldn't go shopping. I avoided shopping at all costs.

To be truthful, it was easier to buy tops than to buy bottoms. Currently, I have many tops in my wardrobe to choose from but buying pants has always been a chore. For one, I am a petite 5'2 and 3/8ths in height with what seems like the shortest legs ever. Being that I hold my weight in my stomach area; pants, skirts, and shorts look funny on me. I hate buying bottoms because they never fit me right. Either pants are too long or my stomach is too big.

Today I was in for a real surprise.

Sure, I know the scale has told me that I have lost weight but I did not know how much weight I had really lost until I tried on pants that I thought were going to be way too small.

Today, I was feeling particularly brave and thought that I would give a size 4 skinny corduroy pants a try. I have no idea where the courage came from or what even led me to the size 4 rack. I thought, "What could happen? They won't fit. And then I know. Been there. Done that. No biggie."

To my utter astonishment, I was able to slide them on with no problem. No hip shaking from side to side or sucking my breath in. No thinking, "just a few more pounds..."

They fit. 

A size FREAKING 4. 

Fit. 

ME!

I have not been able to wear a size 4 pants since 2002 when I was in undergrad. I stood in the dressing room staring at myself in the mirror. Could this be true? They fit. And I am not suffocating. I am not sucking in.

This is real.

I wanted to sing.
I wanted to cry.
I wanted to scream with delight.
I wanted to buy any size 4 I could find.

I wanted to share the news with my husband.
I wanted to never take the pants off.

Each little victory feels like a huge hurdle. 
Because it has been. 

Weight loss is not easy. 

Weight loss is super hard and it is a trying process.

I want to eat hamburgers, milkshakes, chocolate, cupcakes, fried chicken, drink soda, and sit on the couch with my hand in a cheetos bag all the time.

And I resist...over half of the time.

I struggle. 

I fight with myself and feel guilty.

And still see myself as not having lost as much as I have.

It is days like today that I am proud.
Proud that I can do it.
Proud that I have not given up even though I have wanted to a million times.

It is days like today that I believe.
I believe in me. 
I believe I can keep going to meet my ultimate goal.
I believe that the fight to be fit and healthy is worth it. 
And I believe that YOU can do it too!

What are you doing to take care of you?

11 thoughts:

Courtney said...

Congratulations! It is worth it when you see results! Keep up your life changes! :)

Gina Dixon {Hiya Luv} said...

Thank you!

Christina's Adventures said...

I LOVE THIS POST!! I am so proud of you - this is great!! Would you ever consider doing a guest post for my blog & sharing your story? I believe soooo many women struggle with this (me definitely included) and real stories can really help to motivate them!! E-mail me if you're interested :)

Life After 9 said...

Thanks for sharing! I went shopping today and my 5'2 body looks horrendous in pants. I am 12 weeks PP so I know I shouldn't be so hard on myself, but today was a good wake-up call to get myself back down to my size 4. Congrats!

Tabetha Garman said...

Many, many, many congratulations!!!!!

Gina Dixon {Hiya Luv} said...

I would feel so honored to do so! Yes! Thank you so much! I am going to email you now;)

Gina Dixon {Hiya Luv} said...

Thanks so much Taby:)

jodi said...

AWESOME!!! Congrats! You look great and should be so proud of your self.

Gina Dixon {Hiya Luv} said...

Thank you Jodi! I have been working really hard so it is such a joy to be able to show off my hard work.:)

beatriz said...

I have just discovered your blog today and have been reading this post and it is AMAZING! I was wondering If I could share some of the lines you worte in my Facebook wall as I think they are so inspiring and motivating!! congrats! Best wishes from Spain!!
Beatriz
@honeypeak23

Gina Dixon {Hiya Luv} said...

Hi! I am so glad that you left a note. You can quote some sentences on your facebook page but could you link to my blog? Thanks so much,
Gina

Related Posts with Thumbnails

Unauthorized use of this site's design or code is strictly prohibited. myfreecopyright.com registered & protected
 
Content Hiya Luv | Design Poppiness Designs