Wednesday, September 19, 2012

My Weight Loss Journey: Celebrating a Victory

With weight loss comes the excitement of buying new clothes in a smaller size. I have been reluctant to buy new clothes because I think that my old clothes really aren't that big. Boy am I wrong. I took the day off of work today and went shopping. I went to one store and had only a little bit of time to shop before meeting up with D for lunch.

I used to love to shop. I used to shop til I couldn't bear the pain in my feet any longer. When I gained weight I didn't want to shop anymore. It was so hard to find anything that I liked on my body. It was so hard to accept myself in the mirror. I hated how I felt about myself. I hated that I let myself go. So I just wouldn't go shopping. I avoided shopping at all costs.

To be truthful, it was easier to buy tops than to buy bottoms. Currently, I have many tops in my wardrobe to choose from but buying pants has always been a chore. For one, I am a petite 5'2 and 3/8ths in height with what seems like the shortest legs ever. Being that I hold my weight in my stomach area; pants, skirts, and shorts look funny on me. I hate buying bottoms because they never fit me right. Either pants are too long or my stomach is too big.

Today I was in for a real surprise.

Sure, I know the scale has told me that I have lost weight but I did not know how much weight I had really lost until I tried on pants that I thought were going to be way too small.

Today, I was feeling particularly brave and thought that I would give a size 4 skinny corduroy pants a try. I have no idea where the courage came from or what even led me to the size 4 rack. I thought, "What could happen? They won't fit. And then I know. Been there. Done that. No biggie."

To my utter astonishment, I was able to slide them on with no problem. No hip shaking from side to side or sucking my breath in. No thinking, "just a few more pounds..."

They fit. 

A size FREAKING 4. 



I have not been able to wear a size 4 pants since 2002 when I was in undergrad. I stood in the dressing room staring at myself in the mirror. Could this be true? They fit. And I am not suffocating. I am not sucking in.

This is real.

I wanted to sing.
I wanted to cry.
I wanted to scream with delight.
I wanted to buy any size 4 I could find.

I wanted to share the news with my husband.
I wanted to never take the pants off.

Each little victory feels like a huge hurdle. 
Because it has been. 

Weight loss is not easy. 

Weight loss is super hard and it is a trying process.

I want to eat hamburgers, milkshakes, chocolate, cupcakes, fried chicken, drink soda, and sit on the couch with my hand in a cheetos bag all the time.

And I resist...over half of the time.

I struggle. 

I fight with myself and feel guilty.

And still see myself as not having lost as much as I have.

It is days like today that I am proud.
Proud that I can do it.
Proud that I have not given up even though I have wanted to a million times.

It is days like today that I believe.
I believe in me. 
I believe I can keep going to meet my ultimate goal.
I believe that the fight to be fit and healthy is worth it. 
And I believe that YOU can do it too!

What are you doing to take care of you?

11 thoughts:

Courtney said...

Congratulations! It is worth it when you see results! Keep up your life changes! :)

Gina Dixon {Hiya Luv} said...

Thank you!

Christina's Adventures said...

I LOVE THIS POST!! I am so proud of you - this is great!! Would you ever consider doing a guest post for my blog & sharing your story? I believe soooo many women struggle with this (me definitely included) and real stories can really help to motivate them!! E-mail me if you're interested :)

Life After 9 said...

Thanks for sharing! I went shopping today and my 5'2 body looks horrendous in pants. I am 12 weeks PP so I know I shouldn't be so hard on myself, but today was a good wake-up call to get myself back down to my size 4. Congrats!

Tabetha Garman said...

Many, many, many congratulations!!!!!

Gina Dixon {Hiya Luv} said...

I would feel so honored to do so! Yes! Thank you so much! I am going to email you now;)

Gina Dixon {Hiya Luv} said...

Thanks so much Taby:)

jodi said...

AWESOME!!! Congrats! You look great and should be so proud of your self.

Gina Dixon {Hiya Luv} said...

Thank you Jodi! I have been working really hard so it is such a joy to be able to show off my hard work.:)

beatriz said...

I have just discovered your blog today and have been reading this post and it is AMAZING! I was wondering If I could share some of the lines you worte in my Facebook wall as I think they are so inspiring and motivating!! congrats! Best wishes from Spain!!

Gina Dixon {Hiya Luv} said...

Hi! I am so glad that you left a note. You can quote some sentences on your facebook page but could you link to my blog? Thanks so much,

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