Monday, April 23, 2012

overcoming regret



Sometimes my job calls for weekend work commitments. Like yesterday-I was asked by a sorority to come to their chapter meeting and talk to them about stress management. I was happy to do it because I love working with students. 
In college I felt like I got to experience everything. 
  • I studied abroad. 
  • I was a leader on campus
  • I was in ROTC
  • I was a RA
  • I frequented the Dean’s list
The list goes on---but I was not in a sorority. Not joining a sorority is my only regret from college.

So yesterday was a rainy Sunday and not just a typical rainy Sunday but one of those days where you just want to stay in your jam jam’s all day. I wasn’t feeling particularly motivated. I didn't want to leave the house. I didn't even want to shower for that matter.

But I put myself together and drove to campus. I slushed through the puddles in my Hunter’s and arrived to the meeting soaking wet and feeling particularly defeated and sour because I hate being wet and cold. I felt blah and tired and ugly and so many things---I was not in a good place to present on stress management.

I was the last part of the sorority meeting so I sat through 40 minutes of their meeting. Through that 40 minutes I experienced sisterhood and bonding. I experienced roll call, the singing of their chapter song, planning of greek week festivities, announcements, and so many other things.

Through the 40 minutes my sour attitude had totally changed.
I was happy.
I didn’t care that I was freezing cold and soaking wet.
I had experienced something that I never got to experience in college that I always regretted; being in a sorority.
These girls made me feel welcome.
They welcomed me into their group and I was a complete outsider.
They allowed me to be one of them for a short period of time and showed me a glimpse of what sisterhood means to them. I really enjoyed my time with them and they inspired me.
I was so appreciative of my time with them because they helped fill a void even if it was only for 40 minutes.
Do you regret not doing something in college? Have you ever been able to go back and experience that something?

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5 thoughts:

Christine D said...

I loved college life, and so thankful for everything that I've experienced. I don't have alot of regret except for not going for a major in Graphic Design (my parents weren't having it for whatever reason) and maybe joining the rowing team (but then I can't swim so I don't know if that wouldve worked out). Other than that, it was an awesome experience :) Hope you're doing well Missus Gina!!!
Christine
http://www.delachic.blogspot.com

Ashley Ray said...

Though I wasn't in a sorority, I had what I think was probably very close to the sorority experience, through my college dance team. We lived/ate/studied/took class/practiced/partied together. We had to keep our grades up. We were involved in tons of community service & were ambassadors to the school. We were known in the community & had to be on our best behavior while out & about. We had our "fraternities" that we were affiliated with (mainly our school's baseball team). We are almost all still in touch, go back for games & performances, etc.

I think there are a few things I regret about college. 1st is not finishing when I could have. I started at a community college & decided not to get my associate's degree because it required 2 or 3 more classes, and I intended to transfer to a state university & just get my bachelor's - who needs an AD? Well, I did transfer but I also met my (now) husband & got pregnant, and decided to drop out and go to work full time. So I wish I'd gotten the AD and I wish I'd stuck it out for the last 1.5 years, even if it would have been hard. It's hard now and looking back, it would have been much easier. My Dad offered to let me live with him so I could finish school but I was proud and wanted to be self sufficient so I went to work anyway.

I also wish that I had been more focused on academics & growing as a person, squeezing every awesome opportunity out of my collegiate experience as possible. I did a lot, especially those first two years, mainly because being on the dance team required it. But my focus wasn't on academics or growth - it was on fun. I didn't have to work hard to get good grades but if I'd worked harder I could have gotten straight As, possibly a scholarship to another school, and that scholarship would have likely been motivation for me to stay on track. I think about things like study abroad, AmeriCorps, exploring different degree options, involvement on campus at my state university - I just didn't really think about any of those things.

Having a baby really woke me up and it's obvious to me now that my first time in college wasn't spent that well in terms of personal growth. I'm not heartbroken over my missed opportunities, but if I could do those things over, I would do them very differently.

Ashley Ray said...

Oh! I forgot to say - yes, I have had the opportunity to do some of the things I wish I'd done back then. Namely, I still love to learn and jump at every opportunity I have, to do so. Formal or informal education, it's all good to me. I went back to school (though I'm on a break for financial reasons - grrr) & one day I WILL finish! ;) It's honestly so weird to work at a grad school, in Academic Affairs, and to "only" have a high school diploma. It's also weird to have gone to college for 3 years the first time and a couple years as a real grown-up, but to still not have a degree.

Watkins35 said...

so pleased you had such a positive experience (I sometimes have to push myself to do things too when I'd rather be at home :) )
I never went to University, I'd had a bad time at school so couldn't wait to join the working-world & somehow I knew Uni-life wasn't for me (I love my friends & socialising but I'm not outgoing outside that). I've never felt that I've missed out at all, everything was right for me, & that's how I met Hubby through work :) xox

CrowndVic said...

Know what's interesting? I did almost *all* those things in college but didn't participate in a sorority either.
My sister was a part of one, so I could have easily joined on. At times I wish I had rushed hers, as a legacy.
None, the less, I had a good time in college! :)

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