Wednesday, December 21, 2011
I usually love the holidays. I enjoy spending time with family, catching up with relatives I haven't seen in awhile, sharing laughs and jokes over family games, and enjoying great homemade food. This year however I am not excited about the holidays. In fact, I am sad. Very sad. I want to avoid the holidays at all costs. I lost both my grandpa's this year and I am not in a celebrating mood. I just want to stay home and grieve. Yes, lay on the couch and watch movies and sleep Christmas away. I don't want to be jolly and laugh over family games. I don't want to catch up with relatives. I don't want to force myself to be happy. I want to be sad. I want to miss my grandpa's. I want to stay home. I don't want to travel to Ohio. I don't want to leave my pajamas or my house. I know my parents and family are disappointed. I know that it is a good idea to be around others during the holiday who are also grieving. But I don't want to......