Wednesday, December 21, 2011

bah-humbug

I usually love the holidays. I enjoy spending time with family, catching up with relatives I haven't seen in awhile, sharing laughs and jokes over family games, and enjoying great homemade food. This year however I am not excited about the holidays. In fact, I am sad. Very sad. I want to avoid the holidays at all costs. I lost both my grandpa's this year and I am not in a celebrating mood. I just want to stay home and grieve. Yes, lay on the couch and watch movies and sleep Christmas away. I don't want to be jolly and laugh over family games. I don't want to catch up with relatives. I don't want to force myself to be happy. I want to be sad. I want to miss my grandpa's. I want to stay home. I don't want to travel to Ohio. I don't want to leave my pajamas or my house. I know my parents and family are disappointed. I know that it is a good idea to be around others during the holiday who are also grieving. But I don't want to......

10 thoughts:

Monique said...

Unfortunately, I know how you feel. I lost both my grandpas in the same year too. It sucked.

Gina Dixon {Hiya Luv} said...

I never knew that! How long did it take to get better? Sending you a big hug. miss ya!

Shannon at Madiganmade said...

Gina, I wish I could find something eloquent and comforting to say, but I stink at that stuff. I just want you to know that I'm thinking about you... and I'm so sorry for your losses this year. I can only imagine this season is hard.

Gina {Hiya Luv} said...

Thanks Shannon. I appreciate your kind words. :)

Lena Leson said...

Oh sweetheart, I'm so sorry. Take the time you need to this season, but know that everyone else is hurting with you. Sending you lots of love.

Jacky said...

Oh Gina, I'm sorry. Wishing you joy & peace this Christmas, & I'll pray for you. {{hugs}}

hollycroft94 said...

Oh sweetie, wish I could help. Just know that it's ok to feel that way, just grieve how you need to, and Christmas will still be there for you next year. Sending you peace, lots of love and prayers, R xox

Da Head Beav said...

Oh baby girl... I'm so sorry. You have every right to sit back and grieve. I still cry over the loss of my grandpa's. I know this is different, but when I pregnant and lost the baby, I was devastated (as anyone would be)... but one day, every one moved on but me. I was still grieving. I ached. I wanted that baby there with me... and I saw the lives of others moving on and my life just felt like it was standing still and I couldn't imagine moving on without my sweet baby. It felt like it took forever, but slowly I got to a point where I could move on... I got to a point where my life didn't revolve around my grief. I'm fortunate that Damien never rushed the process for me... just don't force yourself to move on before you're ready. You can do this Regina...just know that your grandpa's are closer to you than ever- and they are so proud of you and love you dearly.
Merry Christmas my dear friend... I miss you.

Lonnie said...

Gina, I hope that you are able to put this pain behind you, and know that they are watching over you, and pushing you to be your best. Hopefully 2012 will be a much better year for you and your family. Hoping we will be able to get together in the new year. Miss you lots and sending you a virtual hug!

Gina Dixon {Hiya Luv} said...

Thanks Lonnie. You know it wasn't as bad as I was expecting. We came to visit my grandma and we had a nice day. I am hoping next year will be better. Thank you so much for your understanding and kind words. I hope you had a great holiday! Miss you!

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