Wednesday, May 11, 2011

a heart to heart

I wear my heart on my sleeve.
I have a hard time hiding how I feel.
I tell the world I am well however
my non-verbals give away my true feelings every time.

You see I have not been taking care of myself the past several months.
I have let myself go.
I have not gone to the gym.
I have gained 20+ lbs since I started my new job in July 2010.
I have not ate healthy.
I lack sleep.
I have been stressed beyond capacity.

I recently went on vacation and realized that I had been pushing myself way too much.
Working and commuting totaling 60+ hours a week, blogging, tweeting, etsy, and all the immense amounts of pressure I was putting on myself while trying to have a personal life was becoming to be too much.

During my week vacation I spent time reflecting.
Why do I blog?
Why do I tweet?
Why do I have an etsy shop?
Because all 3 bring joy to my life. I started all 3 as an outlet {away} from my stressful work life.
As I often do, in work and in life in general, I pressure myself to be a perfectionist. I began doing that with my blog. My etsy shop.
I have forced myself to step back and re-focus.

on me.

I haven't been around as much lately online because the hours I would spend on here I have been spending either at the gym or with Polo and Dave. In order for me to do my best work, I need to be at my best. I have not been at my best for some time now and I am taking the much needed time and energy to get there.

I will be here. on twitter. on etsy. I will slowly build up my time to be back to normal again. I am not going anywhere. I am just being more intentional and more purposeful with my time.

Thanks for understanding.

Do you ever feel like this?

18 thoughts:

Toaster4JC said...

Good for you Gina! I'm glad you are trying to be intentional with your time. It's not worth it to completely wear yourself out. Enjoy your time resting.

I actually quit Facebook because it was too much drama/too much of a time waster for me.

Marian Hertzog said...

Reflection is always good. Taking care of yourself and your family is the most important thing in life. All the stuff we have and do really doesn't matter in the end. Especially if it is causing stress. I struggle with how to spend my time too.

Monique said...

Do you ever feel like this? Yes.

I was working 100 hours a week opening resorts and it almost killed me. I finally had to start putting my health ahead of my career.

I still keep busy, but I give my body time to rest and heal. I don't push myself to the breaking point anymore. I make lists of what I need to and want to do - that helps a lot.

Please take care of you!


DiamondsandTulle said...

i completely understand this post Gina. I've been trying to spend less time online and wired as well. been getting back to reading and trying to live a more conscious and healthy/balanced lifestyle. Best of luck babe! Take care of yourself!

xx Vivian @

Madigan at madiganmade said...

Were you secretly writing this post just for me? Cuz I think you were. I occasionally need to take a big step back myself and figure out some things, too.
Glad to hear you aren't going anywhere! I don't know how you do all that you do! :D

Kara @ Mine for the Making said...

I can totally relate. Good for you for refocusing yourself!!

aPearantly sew said...

I think it's so good that you are taking some time for yourself & your family. It's easy to get wrapped up in...posting a new blog, listing new items, keeping up with so & so...and so on and so forth. I think it's important to step away from all of that every now and then and focus on yourself, your family, and why you started blogging & creating in the first place!
Enjoy your break :)

Ashlee said...

Very inspirational, and I appreciate your candidness. Not very many people can be that open.
I wish you happiness.
I'm in a similar time of my life, trying to "figure things out" but it's just not so easy.

Thanks for your awesome post.

Cassie said...

Amen, Gina, because that's what we should all do. I'll be praying that all that needs to get done does, and that everything will not seem as important. Your family s always MOST important. Love ya, girlie :)

Melanie said...

i admire this so, so much. i love you dear, hang in there. :)

Watkins35 said...

Oh honey, I'm so sorry to hear that. Yes, I so feel like this from time to time too. It can all get so overwhelming & you can easily lose yourself & your focus. Just try to take that time for yourself as often as you can, sometimes all you can do is step back from things & find yourself again. But I know it can be difficult with the busy lives we lead. Here's to you sweetie, big hugs xox

Em {Emerging Em} said...

Totally know how you feel! Good for you for taking time for yourself! I haven't blogged in almost a month because finishing my masters was much more important to me! And if people have a problem with that, oh well. Continue to do what you love in life, and spend time with the people you love - they're the most important thing in life.

Melissa {TheScarletCardinal} said...

It's great that you're taking time for yourself. Work can become monstrous (esp. at a college this time of year). It's great to hear you're getting back on track and doing what you need to do to be at your best!

la petite coquine said...

Sweetheart, YES. I've made a rule that I don't blog during the weekdays at home. If I can't get my posts done during the weekend (or at work-whoops!), they're not important enough to take time away from my sweetheart, my exercise, my singing (oh, my singing). Everyone needs balance, and you are a superwoman for doing as much as you do everyday.

xoxo, Lena

Christina said...

I so hear you on ALL of this. The work hours, the overwhelming amount of social networking, Etsy shop maintenance, weight gain (I hate this so much), etc. Thanks for being honest, I love knowing I'm not alone!

Lauren said...

Just FYI: I love you.

WendyB said...

Do what you need to do to feel good!

carlisle clan conversation... said...

oh sweet gina, take care of you love! totally feeling you...i came away from CE (still working on my recap post) thinking i would learn the perfect formula of how to incorporate my blog, etc. and still focus on my faith, family, friends and ya know i still don't know, but i am feeling less guilty because i know those three f's are what need me right now. praying for you friend!

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