Saturday, January 8, 2011

I Vow

6:44am
The parking lot is packed.
 The train leaves at 6:46am prompt.
There are no parking spots left.
Okay, I lie.
I drive around the massive parking lot twice before I find a spot; literally a mile away from the train.
I quickly park, get out of the car, grab my work bag, purse and 
RUN.
RUN.
RUN.
...all the while thinking I am never going to make it.
...and if I do make it I am going to die from being out of shape.
There is black ice everywhere.
I am so glad that I wore flats.
RUN.
RUN.
The train horn is blowing.
I am still what seems like half a mile away.
My lungs are burning.
My throat is parched.
Tears are welling up.
Why?
oh.
Why?
I keep running.
I barely make it on to the train.
As I sit down next to a stranger I am wheezing and gasping for air.
Not because I have asthma.
Not because I am a smoker. 
Not because I have health problems.
But because I am out of shape.
Because I make every excuse not to go to the gym.
I have never been so out of shape and unhappy with my body.
I coughed and wheezed the entire way to work.
1 and a half hours on the train.
I coughed all day long.
miserable.
I vowed that I will get back to the gym.
I will.
Tomorrow. 

I wrote this because I struggle with my full-time job and finding time to balance my family life and finding time to go to the gym. The only time that I can think of is either 5am or 9pm. Neither are ideal. 
But something has got to give because the other day was humiliating.
Do you struggle with this same dilemma? How do you manage?

18 thoughts:

The Bonjour Four said...

oh girl i totally understand. I feel the same way! it's so hard...

Molly aka Posy Mosey said...

I am right there with you! Only I don't have a full-time job on top of everything so even fewer excuses! It's one of the things I'm working on this year.

Sarah B. said...

The thing that saved me was having to jog our active little dog for ten minutes twice a day. It's just a little bit but enough not to make me feel like a total couch potato!! Finding balance is so hard though. No one feels like exercising after work!! I hope you find something that works for you!

Watkins35 said...

I really do get this. I have the same problem, it's so hard finding time to work out, esp when you're exhausted from work & the commute.

We treated ourselves to a wii & the wii fit plus last year and I have to say that I find it much easier to do half an hour on it every day straight after work (or occasionally in the morning on a day off) as it's fun & keeps it interesting (for me). Sadly with all the colds/illness I've had recently I've been unable to use it & so am back to being completely out of shape & loathing myself! But once I'm well enough I'll be back on it. Hubby uses it as well every morning before work & it's helped him lost over a stone!

Just know you're not alone in this Gina, big hug xoxox

Cassie said...

I hear ya, Gina. I'm struggling with it right now. Your dilemma is time, mine is not. I never told you, but I fell in September while running (who does that), and I ended up tearing 2 of the 4 tendons in my shoulder among other injuries to my shoulder and knees. My leg gave out, so now I'm terrified that that will happen again! I still have appts with ortho to figure out. . .so mine is fear, but I so desperately need to at least go out and walk! So, I hear ya, Gina.

Katie P said...

I know how you feel... exactly, in fact! Including the 1 1/2 hour train ride.

Do you have a gym at or close by to work? I have one that's a ten min walk from my building, and I started going every day at lunch. I bring my lunch and when I get back from the gym, I eat it at my desk while working. I've found it's a great way to break up the day so I actually look forward to it!

holtkamp said...

that's a tough situation :( maybe there are things you could do at home that don't require much: pushups, situps, jumping jacks, yoga. anything is better than nothing. even if it's only a couple of minutes you'll still reap some benefits :) good luck! :)

Mama Pea said...

Finding time is hard for me too. Can you go on lunch break? Or, although 5 am workouts absolutely stink, maybe you could manage to do it just once or twice a week? One workout per week is better than zero :)

Michelleesque said...

Ahh! I hope things get better for you! When school starts again, I have to balance that work load on top of my internship and volunteer work. It's probably not the same as having a full time job, but the stress and lack of sleep is there.

Suburban Sweetheart said...

I definitely struggle with the same, and as you said, something's got to give. I can't keep going like this.

Kara said...

it is so difficult to balance everything...i feel ya Gina. I am the most out of shape I have ever been myself...and i find myself struggling to find time between work, family, commuting, daily/weekly chores, daycare so that I can go to the gym, etc. I LOVE the idea of wii fit. We have a wii...now i just need to invest in wii fit. That would make life a little easier.

hugs to you friend. just think of all of the things you have to be thankful for...that's what gets me thru the day most times.

WendyB said...

Do 5 a.m. That's what I did most days when I was in the corporate world with an office job. (If I missed the morning, I'd do 10 p.m.) You'll feel so much better!

Kate said...

Gina, I'm totally with you on hating my baby (which is what I call my tummy) and totally got called out by someone at work because "you're a skinny girl, what's with the tummy?". You and I should work out together at lunch!!

Amber @ A Little Pink in the Cornfields said...

I totally get where you're coming from. It IS hard but if you can find the time I bet you will feel ahh-mazing. What about your lunch period? Or home work out videos? Just a little bit everyday would probably make you feel worlds different.

emily said...

I think making a habit of it will really help. :) I used to not exercise regularly, but then I made a habit of doing it everyday. Now I get depressed if I can't do my cardio! Haha. :)
Much love!

Melanie said...

I feel your pain, love! :)

la petite coquine said...

You know I feel your pain. I try to be as good to myself and my body as humanly possible on the weekends, and remember not to beat myself up too bad during the week. There's only so much time in the day, after all!

Try a routine that let's you work out from home-a yoga or pilates DVD, or even dance-inspired exercise, so you don't have to drag yourself out of the house in the dark or once you're finally home.

Wendy said...

I know how you feel as I work full time too. May I suggest that you move to the UK? That way you wouldn't have to run for the train as they are always several hours delayed!

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