Thursday, June 24, 2010

my constant battle

{{I am proud of myself today.}}
I went to the gym! I have paid for a gym membership to the Y for Dave and I for a year now and I think I have been about 2 dozen times. Dave-less than that-I could probably count on one hand how many times he has gone-but it isn't a competition and this isn't about him.
 Well-maybe it is. 
my brother & i last june 2009                
 my sister's boyfriend & i frolicking in may 2010                            
So when I met Dave in 2007 I was going to the gym daily-obsessively-some thought I had a problem. Sometimes I would go 2 times a day. I was at the gym for hours at a time. I would take kickboxing class, ab attack class, then do 45 minutes on the elliptical machine and run 2 miles. I think I was addicted to exercise or it gave me self esteem. Whatever it was when I moved to Delaware exercise took a back seat as my life became consumed with my new job and quite frankly, my new life. Yea, I gained some weight. So what, it happens. Weight gain is a constant battle. I lose weight, I gain weight, lose, gain, lose, gain, gain, gain, lose, gain-you get it. Our society is obsessed with this idea of the perfect body and so weight is always around us. 

So, Dave's comment is what prompted me to go to the gym so if I am going to be completely honest, then this post is about him. He mentioned to me last night that it appeared that I had gained a few pounds. {Stop in my tracks.} What?! I mean, I know this! I look in the mirror daily but when your partner notices and says something, (perhaps I'm too sensitive) there is another level of "oh shit!" that occurs and I immediately felt absolutely horrible. 


Why did I give him such power? Not sure. I immediately (and ashamed to admit) got angry and upset with him (probably because I know it is true and was embarrassed) for pointing it out to me and we had a talk about it. He said, "You know, I have gained weight too and I am not saying it in a bad way but I just noticed is all. I thought you might want to know." 


Men really have a way with words don't they?


So I thought enough of this-I am going to the gym this morning and I did! I went to Zumba class and although I was not a fan at all as I prefer classes such as body boot camp, spinning, and kickboxing or the like, I enjoyed working out and will be sure to go back to the gym more often. Not to lose weight necessarily, but because it felt good to do it! 




Luv & smiles,
gina

15 thoughts:

Valerie said...

Oh, Gina. I hate that feeling so much. I know what you mean. Even if we know we've gained weight, the last thing we want to hear is other people (especially our significant other) pointing it out. Good for you for going to Zumba this morning!

xo
Valerie

Cassie said...

Gina, kudos to you for going back to the gym! Gosh that's tough and it's tough to hear those dreaded words 'you've gained weight'. I was like you, because until I started homeschooling my kids I was at the gym or running miles while they were in school. Now that they are home with me, I have gained about 15 pounds and it has really started to bother me. This is why I get up every morning to run at 5:30. I keep doing it, because I feel good when I do, even though I hate getting up that early. Anyway, just be encouraged, because feeling good is what it is all about ;D

Fashion Court said...

i always feel that it's essential to make sure you're HEALTHY.. and working out isn't so much for looking perfect, it's about maintaining yourself..but even with that said, i can be SO lazy! lol

ps: thank you for the kind words! xoxo .. and i have to add you to my blogroll asap!

Kristie said...

You are so beautiful! I really mean that! You are really gorgeous just the way you are!!! Men can be so insensitive at times. You want to know what my husband said the other day? Check this out...
Alan was getting ready to leave to run a couple of errands and I was at the computer working. I had just gotten up, no makeup on and still in my nightgown. He kissed me on the cheek and left.
I decided I should get my rear in gear and get dressed for the day and put my makeup on. After I got ready, I came back to the computer to finish my research. Alan came home a few minutes later and then he came into the office and said...

"Wow, you look so beautiful now, you didn't look beautiful when I left."

Jackass.

Lulu, Karl, y Carlita said...

girl - come with me at 6am - We signed up for a Y membership this summer for the pool so we're taking advanatage of it. I go at 6am or 7am - lets do it. I need to lose the last 5 pounds. I'll help you!!!

Amber @ A Little Pink in the Cornfields said...

I love Zumba! One of my closest friends is an instructor and she is obbbbsessssed with it, so I became a fan by default! Although... the fact that I even have a gym membership is laughable because I hardly EVER go... my mom bitches about how I pay $30 a month for nothing, but my membership is so cheap I cant' give it up. hehe :)

Monick said...

Why do people think it is ok to point out that you have gained weight? I mean I live in my body everyday (as far as I know) and I do own a mirror - so yes, I'm aware.

It is however ok to point out when we have lost weight and look good! Even though we usually know that too! :)

Mandy [Mandy's Yellow Corner] said...

My Dad told my sister that she was gaining weight one time. . . between her, myself, and our mom, it did not end well!

But that is a frustrating topic. . . on one hand, I would want my hubs to tell me if he was noticing that I was gaining wait. But I wouldn't like it! Hmm. . . lose-lose situation :]

Mandy [Mandy's Yellow Corner] said...

Ha. . . and interesting timeline. David and I met in 2007 also, and at the time I was also obsessive about jogging and exercising :]

WendyB said...

I don't think it's terrible for an S.O. to tell you you've gained weight though I'd prefer he says it gently. It's not like it's a stranger, and it's not like you wouldn't want to work on your fitness before things get worse. I have no qualms about discussing MrB's fitness with him.

Robyn said...

Why do we give the men in our lives so much power? I used to be obsessive about the gym and it took a lot of work on myself to really back off. Now I take one hot yoga class a week, and ride my bike occasionally. It's hard though, being a woman in our society. Good luck with whatever you decide to do. I'm glad that you are doing it for yourself though, and for the right reasons.

ebeepaperie said...

Yay for going back to the gym! I'm like you...I go up and down. Usually it is just 5 or 10 pounds, but I'm so short so a few extra pounds seems like a lot! I was proud of myself today too...I usually speed walk on my treadmill because I hate running but today I made myself run for 20 minutes and I felt so good after!!! That alone is enough to make me keep doing it...if only because I felt good after!

Josie said...

Okay, I hate working out. I just don't like it. I did yoga for awhile and did like that, but for the most part find exercise to be rather boring... Anyhow, I know EXACTLY what you mean about getting a good feeling about working out. It's enough to re-inspire me. Good luck, my dear!
xo Josie
http://winksmilestyle.blogspot.com

Ashley said...

Ugh, men. But congrats on going to the gym! I haven't run in over a month... or ellipticalled... or anything cardio-ish. I've been randomly doing crunches and squats, but that's about it. You've inspired me to (hopefully) go for a jog tomorrow! :)

-Ashley
http://breakfastatsaks.blogspot.com

The Bonjour Family! said...

Men! they sure know how to make you feel like crap sometimes huh.

You are beautiful! and seriously.. Who doesn't gain? Way to go for going to the gym. It does feel so good doesn't it?!

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